Bruce has had 1 girlfriend.
Stella.
But then they met at a park for a date.
She said he was "immature" and "hyper".
How rude.
So he's been single and trying to mingle for quite some time.
But now he's ready to settle down.
Know any female canine suitors?
Here's the ad we've been running on pupmatch.com
"... I am a mature, athletic, dynamic, self confident man, and you should be the same. I am not interested in meeting women with leftover emotional problems from previous relationships - you should be at peace with yourself, and the world. Age is unimportant to me, as I am old enough to appreciate a deeper, not only physical relationship. You should have a nice physique, as I am in top shape from daily 3 mile jogs. You should be an open minded, squirrel educated, financially independent woman, preferably with no children, as I am childless and intend to remain that way (not that I have a choice since my manhood was taken from me nearly 9 months ago). Ideally you live here in Cincinnati, but I am willing to travel anywhere in the Midwest to meet you as long as Mama or Papa can drive me. If you see yourself in this description, and are interested in meeting an intelligent, intellectual, fluffy, ENERGETIC man...please contact me."
This is ridiculous but amusing (to both me and dad)!
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